He understands his circumstance but it doesn’t make him feel less responsible. The horror lies in feeling helpless. It’s as you wake up from a nightmare, and you have that brief moment of relief as you understand you were just dreaming, but then you realize it actually happened. You just couldn’t stop it.
— Sebastian Stan on Bucky’s mental state
I have a lot of feelings about the fact that Bucky pulled his punches – figuratively and literally – for the entire movie.
No, seriously.
Think about how he fought as the Soldier and then how he fights when he hasn’t been triggered. He fights like a motherfucker, don’t get me wrong, but it takes him a lot longer to get through the apartment fight scene in Romania than it took him to get through an entire building of highly trained professionals, many of whom were ex-SHIELD and/or Avengers in Berlin. And he had Steve to help him in Romania.
The difference is how much he cares about the people he’s fighting against. As the Soldier, the only thing that matters is the mission and compliance. As Bucky, he’s trying his damnedest not to kill anyone.
If Bucky remembers as much as it’s implied that he does, he knows full well what he is capable of. He knows his own skill level intimately because it’s been tested again and again and again.
He knew the entire time that he could get out of that prison box and get back to freedom but he also knew that in order to successfully do that, he’d have to kill people.
He let himself stay captured and let himself almost die several times because when he told Steve, “I’m not gonna kill anyone,” he meant it from the bottom of his heart.
Bucky just?!?? cares SO MUCH??!?!?!?
It literally breaks my heart I love him so much, he wants so badly not to hurt anyone anymore? He says “That’s smart, that’s a good strategy” when Steve tells him the authorities want to kill him and he doesn’t even sound angry, and he just sounds resigned and so, so tired when he says “It always ends in a fight” because he doesn’t want to fight anymore
He says “I don’t do that anymore” and “I’m not going to kill anyone” and then he fights his way out without killing anyone, without picking up a weapon.He begs Zemo to stop when he starts reading the trigger words. When he wakes up after being triggered the first word out of his mouth is “Steve?” because he has to kow if he’s okay and the first question he asks is “what did I do?” and then freaks out because he didn’t want to hurt people anymore but they used him again and that was his worst nightmare
And he worries about Steve’s friends so much, too? He literally goes wtf no when Scott makes that quip about tearing himself in half even though he’s kown him for maybe thirty minutes and on the quinjet he asks Steve “what’s going to happen to your friends?” because he. cares. so. goddamn. much.
bucky giggling and smiling so widely when he tells steve that he used to wear newspapers in his shoes
bucky having tears in his eyes while watching the winter soldier murder tony’s parents
bucky begging and crying out for zemo to stop when his winter soldier codes are being said
bucky buying plums in his spare time and keeping a picture of steve in one of his memory notebooks (which had chocolate bars on top of it)
bucky firmly telling zemo that his name is not james, it’s bucky
bucky saying that he remembers all of the people he’s killed while being the winter soldier
bucky protecting steve from tony and getting his arm shot off in the process and even when he’s down and in pain from losing his arm he can’t let tony get to steve
bucky thinking that he’s not worth all of this to steve
bucky deciding that instead of living his life in a constant state of fear and paranoia he’ll go back into cryo for the safety and protection of others and himself until t'challa can find a cure
These sinful hands that once failed to save you, here again offers you nothing but pain. Will you forgive me for hurting you? Will you forgive me for what I have let you become? Will you forgive me… for even now I put the world before you?
And probably what destroys him the most is that he knows his Bucky would forgive him for all.
CHRIS IS FUCKING DRUNK AND ANTHONY IS SCREAMING AND ROASTING TEAM IRON MAN AND SEBASTIAN JUST WANDERED OFF AND CHRIS IS YELLING FOR HIM THIS PREMIERE IS A MESS IM IN TEARS
(from whatever screenshots i could get)
we’ll start this off with anthony
this was when he was roasting team iron man
then chris’ drunk ass joined in
this is them realizing they lost sebastian while chris was having fun twirling that mic for a good minute
this is when sebastian finally found them and chris was literally about to pick him up on stage but seb insisted on taking the stairs
Omfg hahahahahahahaha MACKIE AND THAT MIC! LMMFAO!!!! I dont know how the press tour can get better than the show we got today. Lmmfao You have 4 different kinds of drunks here. Evans: The Drunk Fratboy Meatball, Mackie: The Loud Hardass Drunk, Sebby: The Drunk ManChild, and Russo: The Quiet Drunk Who Wonders What Exactly He Got Himself Into.
Michi | 23 
